I’m dying here. I feel angry, scared, weary, embarrassed, left, forsaken, bitter, and ungrateful.

Ironically, this is occurring while I am looking at the prosperity of my beautiful desk, which is enriched with three large desktop screens, a laptop screen, and an iPhone screen for my online classes, coaching, churching, and connecting. (I heard that Gen-Zs often use five screens too! Gen-Zs are born after 1997—I’m feeling so young!)

So, my glum feelings aren’t anything but the windy breezes—the old familiar spirits, philosophy, and thinking messing with me!

And I call out to the One who understands—

“Lord Jesus! Obedient son of your father (because whatever “Papa Father” called you to do, you ultimately did it!). You are “the man, Christ Jesus” (1 Timothy 2:5) —The wonderful man with your own preferences, your own opinions, and your own crying out on the cross with the “Why!?” that shook the universe! (Matthew 27:46)

Yes, Lord Jesus, you’re the one that looked at tomorrow and taught us: “Stay in today, for tomorrow has enough evil (Greek: kakia) of its own.” (Matthew 6:34) Because you walked in it and through it for 33 years, you are crystal clear about the mess—spiritual, mental, emotional, religious, political and social—the dirt, dust, flies, and mosquitoes that torment our earthly picnics, plan, dreams, and desires.

You endured the torture, torment, and treachery by taking up your cross daily. You despised and shamed the shame of feeling ashamed in the midst of the shaming judgments of family, friends, religion, power, and authorities—for the joy that you could already see by faith—up ahead! (Hebrews 12:2)

And, you won. So now, we have already won too, as we are already seated with you in the heavenlies! (Ephesians 2:6)

Keeping it joyfully simple and giv’n‘em heaven! (Matthew 11:25)

John of Merced